So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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