And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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