are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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