Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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