This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
