..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
