Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
