sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize