Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
kristin has been a bad kristin
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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