hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
