"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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