I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
