why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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