I cockslap morals
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
