i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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