from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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