imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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