What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
