Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
