So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
