Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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