Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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