billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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