you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
