so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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