Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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