you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Less talking, more tequila
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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