Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I skipped work to stalk him.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
