talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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