Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
