She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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