just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
please come you make the beer taste better
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
