They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm just crazy horny about you
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
