did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize