I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i love accidental penises.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
