Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
