My Higher Power is John Stamos
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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