what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She's just so happy...and so naked.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
