Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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