I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
