I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
