If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wish I only lived at night.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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