Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
