what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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