Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
