Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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