I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize