But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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