I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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