So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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