Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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