thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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