it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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