he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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