elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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