Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize