the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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