nut hugger
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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