i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
