dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
