Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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