I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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