Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
