I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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