I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
