Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
