Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
