and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
