I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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