well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
