Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
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He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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