I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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