At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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